i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
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why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
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I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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