I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
