there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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