At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
