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Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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