Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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