puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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