Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
