This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
