Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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