well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
