I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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