you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
