if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
