she kept yelling 'call me bella'
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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