So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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