Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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