Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
