Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The chlamydia really affected his face.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
