Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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