i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
