I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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