I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
