loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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