he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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