porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
