like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
