I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
