My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize