do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
