If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
