We won't sleep together?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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