i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
