Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
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she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
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NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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