Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
