the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Randomize
