If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
