i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
