There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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