I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
