So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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