how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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