Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
