how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
