Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the day after is always just damage control
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
