Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
