so explain again why im purple
no
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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