The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
