I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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