I seem to have left my pride at pride
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
