Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
