Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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