Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Less talking, more tequila
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
