i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
