A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
