youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
