do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
