Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
well most of my day revolves around power hour
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
