Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize