I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
