That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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